Happy Thanksgiving! May your morning be filled with parades, holiday 5Ks, and crisp fall weather. May your festivities be filled with movies you love, stories that make you laugh, and youngsters who fall asleep when they’re supposed to. And may your table be filled with the most scrumptious meal you’ve ever laid eyes on, all of it cooked lovingly by hand in your very own kitchen and applauded by everyone from your cat to your in-laws.
But in case it’s not headed that way, don’t worry. This week’s post is a continuation of last week’s, and could aptly be titled: “Thanksgiving Dinner: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” If you’re lost and can’t find a map, consider the following:
Remember that stores are still open. If you’ve run out of milk, burned half your bacon, or learned that five unforeseen guests will be joining your ranks, you can bail yourself out with a quick trip to the store. Side note: quick trips to the grocery store also make excellent escape plans if you or your spouse has begun to plot murder.
Making a last-minute grocery store run? While you’re at it, make sure you have antacids, just in case anyone in your crew experiences indigestion; a bottle opener that matches the top of whatever beverage you’re planning to serve; and a selection of hot teas for those who don’t drink coffee. And if you’re starting to panic, just remember…
Appetizers can buy you lots of time. As I mentioned last week, you should be prepared for a 90-minute delay in your schedule if you’ve never hosted Thanksgiving before. Most of this delay will be caused by logistics: peeling produce, hunting for space in the fridge, answering the door, pouring wine. Let your guests know in advance that you might need their patience, and provide cheese and crackers, board games, or an Xbox – whatever will keep them happy. In the event that everything runs smoothly and your turkey cooks in a timely fashion, so much the better.
If you’ve fallen so far behind that you’ve recruited someone to help, make sure it’s easy for this person to tell the difference between sugar and salt. You don’t want anyone mixing those up!
If your gravy has lumps, run it through a sieve, if you have one. This will be the fastest solution, and it may be worth taking advantage of those open grocery stores if you find yourself with lumpy gravy and no fine-mesh strainer. Otherwise, you will need to use a slotted spoon to remove any giblets and assign someone to whisk the remainder of the gravy until it is smooth. Add the giblets back in once you like the consistency.
If you forgot to buy buttermilk, you can make some in a pinch by combining one tablespoon of lemon juice with one cup of regular milk. Yogurt thinned with milk will also work. Still feeling stuck? Here is an article with more instructions and some additional suggestions.
Before you put your rolls into the oven, hold back half. It’s easy to burn the first batch, especially if they’re heavy on butter. (If you’ve already burned all your bread, here’s the link for homemade biscuits, which you can make in less than half an hour.)
If something catches fire, don’t use water. Remember how oil and water don’t mix? Most kitchen fires involve cooking oil, and water can cause things to spatter. If possible, smother the flames with a large metal pot or a lid. Otherwise, you can use baking soda if the fire is still small (and you can always use a fire extinguisher), but do not use flour. Many Thanksgiving fires occur because people are trying to deep-fry a turkey, a process that requires enormous amounts of hot oil. If this is you, make sure you have triple-checked your directions before starting, and make sure your turkey is completely thawed. (Other fire hazards include plastic bags or paper towels set on hot surfaces like the stove or toaster oven, hot pans left unattended during family activities, or kids unattended in the kitchen.) For additional advice about grease fires and safety, see this article.
You can always get help from NPR. The Splendid Table hosts an annual Thanksgiving call-in show from 12:00-2:00 EST. If you find yourself in serious trouble, I guarantee that these chefs can get you out. Alternatively, if you are one of those misery-loves-company types, you can stream the show live – someone is bound to be having a worse day than you.
Remember that catastrophes make great stories. So what if you end up serving salad and biscuits? The point of Thanksgiving is not perfection. Enjoy the company of friends and family and let yourself reflect on what you’re glad to have had in your life: your dog, your education, your beliefs, your house (if you haven’t burned it down). Have a great holiday and happy cooking!
Important Notice About November Blog Posts:
November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Since I write fiction when not working on Ditch The Ramen, I’ll be limiting my posts this month to Thursdays only in order to devote extra time to the piece I’m creating in conjunction with the NaNoWriMo challenge. Thanks for your understanding. 🙂
